Lord, sometimes I'm
afraid to pray.
It scares me,
this whole business of talking to you.
Listening to you.
Who am I ...?
And what does it mean?
It's a heavy thing, Lord,
to be in contact with you.
It would be all right
if I could just use the passkey,
open the letterbox,
drop in my requests,
like a mail order catalogue,
and wait for the parcel to come.
But when I pray
I hear you talking back to me.
I hear you saying
„You've used the words.
Now what are you going to do about it?“
Confronting, searching.
I think of Jesus, in the garden.
I catch a glimpse of what prayer meant to him.
Sweat ... like blood ...
Agonising, painful.
Prayer from the depths of his being
whether for others, or himself.
Prayer beyond easy words.
Commitment.
To the cross. And beyond.
Lord, teach me to pray
in his name.
In his spirit.
Not only believing prayer.
Not simply believing you'll do something about it.
But identifying prayer.
Putting myself into it,
standing alongside you, Lord
and committing myself to do all I can
to bring about what I'm praying for.
Lord, help me.
When I pray for peace, help me not to create dissension.
When I pray for my neighbour stir me up to help him.
When I pray „Your Kingdom come“ inspire me to
share in its building.
Help me put my will where my mouth is.
And not to shift onto your shoulders
the things I can do something about myself.
Eddie Askew
(Disguises of Love)
Wait With Faith
Lord you have faithfully shown me
So many times before
And this time is no exception, Lord
And simply can't be ignored
That you know all that concerns my life
Everything your eyes do see
You always come through at just the right time
To meet my every need
For nothing escapes your watchful eye
No problem that we may cross
But so often, Lord, it seems as though
There's a delay in your response
I know it's a testing of our faith
To wait so patiently
You stretch us so our faith may grow
Though we want it instantly
But it's for our good that you respond
In your time, not in ours
For if you didn't - we'd stay as infants
Getting everything right now
For us to grow more Christ-like
We need to learn to wait
For often that's the answer to prayer
And builds us up in faith
So I thank you for the answer to come
As I hand it over in prayer
Thank you that you're still working on me
And my breakthrough's drawing near.
© By M.S.Lowndes
Lord,
I'm just a bit confused.
To come or go?
I stand with Bartimaeus
in the middle of the road.
A choice to make,
to go with you
or stay with what I know?
The strong wind of your presence
blows through my life
and shakes the leaves of my security.
It would be easier to stay,
to hold to what I know -
or think I know, there's a difference, Lord -
but something, someone,
draws me out and on.
You don't insist,
you leave me free to choose
to stay with you or go,
but there's a strange compulsion
in the freedom that you give.
A magnetism that I cannot break,
that draws me on and in.
I'm free to turn my back,
and change my new-found riches
back to rags.
Say "Thank you, but no thanks."
It's up to me.
But, Lord, I cannot let you go.
I know you are the one who opens eyes,
whose hands hold healing.
And if the price for that
is taking to the road without a map,
I'll take the road.
And one day,
looking back along the way I've travelled,
I'll realise there was a plan
that marked the road
you walked with me.
Eddie AskewMeditations and Prayers"Encounters" - page 55Blind Bartimaeus Receives His Sight46 Then they came to Jericho. As Jesus and his disciples, together with a large crowd,
were leaving the city, a blind man, Bartimaeus (that is, the Son of Timaeus),
was sitting by the roadside begging.
47 When he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to shout,
Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!
48 Many rebuked him and told him to be quiet, but he shouted all the more,
Son of David, have mercy on me!
49 Jesus stopped and said, Call him.
So they called to the blind man, Cheer up! On your feet! He's calling you.
50 Throwing his cloak aside, he jumped to his feet and came to Jesus.
51 What do you want me to do for you? Jesus asked him.
The blind man said, Rabbi, I want to see.
52 Go, said Jesus, your faith has healed you.
Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus along the road.
Mark 10:46-52